Why I wait

A lot of people ask if I am in a romantic relationship, especially as I approach the age when marriage is expected. This question isn’t just directed at me; it is something people of my age and beyond have been asked in every generation.

Marriage has always been a central part of our conversations and expectations. We constantly witness weddings on our social media feeds, and the more we see them, the more people, either seriously or humorously, ask if we have a partner to marry. In our society, whenever a festive season arrives, so does the pressure to settle down—even when one is not ready.

But is it really about not being ready? Maybe it’s not that one is unprepared but that they are waiting—waiting on God for the right person at the right time. Even for those already in relationships, the timing may not yet be right for marriage. I often hear the question: When will you get married?

Marriage is not a temporary arrangement where one enters and leaves at will. It is a sacred and lifelong covenant where two become one, and nothing but death should separate them. This institution is not man-made but divinely established by God, who is unchanging—therefore, marriage itself is an unchanging covenant.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that treats marriage as a transaction, where one invests and withdraws as they please. The truth has been blurred, and the sacredness of marriage has been distorted. Many believers, too, have fallen into the trap of adopting the world's perspective, failing to recognize marriage as the holy and honorable institution that God intended.

The Scriptures uphold marriage as a divine blessing, one that brings favor from God. A marriage built on holiness and God’s favor can withstand any hardship and remain unshaken. The Bible continually reminds us to keep the marriage bed pure and warns that no one should separate what God has joined together.

At the same time, the Bible also warns us about the dangers of an unbelieving spouse. Believers are commanded not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. Scripture further cautions that a spouse who does not share one’s faith can lead them away from God. Many figures in the Bible, including Samson, David, and Solomon, faced great failures because of their unions with unbelieving women. Proverbs tells us that a wife who does not walk in God’s ways can bring strife, decay, and constant quarrels to the home.

So why do I wait?

When God created Adam, He saw that Adam was alone and needed a companion. Adam did not ask for a wife, nor did he have any idea what marriage was—but God, knowing his need, provided him with Eve, a suitable helper. The same God who provided for Adam is the God I worship today. One thing I know about Him is that He knows my needs, and in His perfect timing, He will provide.

Waiting on God is not passive, it is active trust. Waiting is God’s process of shaping and molding us for the person He is preparing, and preparing us for the life He has planned. Waiting is lived out through prayer, where desires are laid honestly before God while the outcome is surrendered to His will. It means guarding the heart in a world that pressures urgency and comparison, choosing God’s promises over society’s timeline. It is a season of growth in character, faith, and obedience, trusting that God prepares His people as He prepares what lies ahead. It is remaining faithful in present responsibilities and choosing contentment, knowing that life and calling are never on hold in God’s hands. So we wait with hope, not frustration, trusting that God’s timing is always perfect.

Too often, people run ahead of God’s plan—not only in marriage but in every aspect of life. We pray earnestly, yet when things don’t happen as quickly as we expect, we settle for whatever comes first, without realizing that it may not be what God originally intended for us. Our faith is so small that we believe God cannot do better than what we see before us.

But when God says, “I have plans for you,” He means every area of our lives—including marriage. His plans are not to harm us but to prosper us, for “all things work together for the good of those who love Him.” Yet, He calls us to wait on His perfect timing. The Psalmist reminds us that God’s ways are not our ways and that His thoughts are higher than ours (Psalm 55:8-9). Job, too, admitted that he spoke of things he did not understand (Job 42:3). How often do we mistake our own desires for God’s will?

Now, I know this: God has a plan for me, a plan that includes a life partner, according to His will. Yet, His ways are beyond my understanding, and so I will trust Him. Relationships are not for mere companionship or fleeting emotions—they should align with God’s divine purpose. Unless God confirms a relationship, I will continue to wait on Him.

Why should we settle for gold when God is preparing a diamond?

Let us remain steadfast in prayer, with the confidence that if we ask according to His will, He hears us. And if He hears us, we can trust that He is working in our lives (1 John 5:14-15). As Scripture assures, “He fulfills the desires of those who fear Him” (Psalm 145:19). So, we wait—not in doubt, but in trust, knowing that God’s timing is always perfect.

“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength;

They shall mount up with wings like eagles,

They shall run and not be weary,

They shall walk and not faint.” — Isaiah 40:31